Dear 2014

What a year. A year of pain, sorrow, heartache, joy, happiness and love. The year ended with a lot of pain. So much pain I didn't think I could handle. You threw this at me and part of me thought I deserved it. I started doubting myself, my choices and the path I had chosen so far. I began to think I had made a huge mistake-moving to pa and studying dance. I thought because of those choices I had lost the love of my life. The person I was supposed to be with forever. What the hell was going on. I was taken back so much. Months of being dragged around and being thrown this imaginary bone giving me a small token of hope that this person would snap out of it and go back to their normal self. 

And then there was the career thing. I was so lost this year overall. I didn't know what I was doing or what I was going to do. But just as you brought me to my lowest point you swept in and brought me some major highs. Doing what I love almost every day and getting to perform during the summer with my mom in the audience. Also, finding a person who showed me the meaning of  true friendship and who loved me exactly for who I was. A friendship blossomed in the dead of winter. While the winter of 2014 was so bitter in Pittsburgh, I was able to find joy in being around this person.

As the year dwindled down I lost what I thought was a best friend. And even though you, 2014, put me through so much pain, you also changed me. You made me stronger. You made me believe in myself more. You made me realize I can do it alone and be ok. It took awhile but I'm here now. And I am so damn grateful for it. I've found some awesome friends when I really wasn't looking. 

I believed it all happened for a reason. There's never a great or perfect time in life for things to happen. It's all about riding the wave, staying positive and taking what life gives you each step of the way. Life gets hard as 2014 was almost unbearable at times. But I'm ready to move forward and leave that behind.

As I enter a new year with a lighter heart and a clearer head, I'm aware 2015 will have its downs just as 2014 did. I'm ready. I'm also ready for the amazing highs it's going to throw at me. I'm ready for more love, more joy and more opportunities I will receive when it comes to doing the things I love.

 I'm so thankful for 2014. This year was full of growth and made me a better person.