But surprisingly sometimes it does in fact change. This unspoken respect and trust you've held for this one person dissolves as the other person changes into an unfamiliar being you've never come to know. Someone who once cared about this bond you two built together suddenly doesn't care anymore and stops respecting it. They ultimately stop respecting you. If you're lucky enough this person will be honest and open with you about it but of course this doesn't always happen.
How do you stay happy when the one person you cared for the most completely changes and stops caring for you? This is of course different for everyone. For me it's 100 percent painful to watch the best relationship I've had so far and worked on for so many years just go away. It's 100 percent painful to watch my best friend who loved me so much walk away from me. But as my mom explains, I am mourning for the old person who once showed me love and who I once could trust with everything in me. This person is gone.
Moving forward is something I'm in denial of. Is this really happening? Does this person really want this? And yes, at least now I know this person does not want this bond we once shared.
To stay happy I go through the feelings I am feeling. I allow myself to be sad but to not let it overtake me. I allow myself to be exactly where I am today. Today I am too afraid to face the fact I must fully move on and accept that this person does not want to be with me. I am not ready to let go of the things I once knew so well. Today that's how I am feeling...I know someday soon I fully will have to accept this fact (which is even painful to type out).
A lot of times people tell you it will get better and time heals things...and yes it does. But it also helps to just focus on exactly what your going through as well as staying focused on yourself, your dreams what you want to accomplish. I am blessed to have once had such a connection with someone and I can say I am even blessed to be feeling this pain because it just tells me that I am alive and I experienced something really wonderful because it hurts so incredibly much to see it pass me by... especially for reasons I'll never fully understand. All I know is this person has changed and I deserve way better than the person they are now.
Allow yourself to breathe. Remember to be strong but to also experience all the pain that is moving through you. Today is painful but I know it gets better. I also know there is someone out there who will love me completely for exactly who I am. For now I focus on positive thoughts as I move through what seems to be a never ending healing process. It gets better is what they say...and I believe it. It gets better and new opportunities and people will head your way.
Don't forget all the people in your life who love you and care about you. Lean on them and allow them to support you and love you <3
